What they do think.

Okay, so, I can relate to what Paulo Coelho went through. I'm dealing with the after effects of it. In finding my element, I have had to leave my entire family behind. This is because whatever I tried in the past was seen as not good enough for my family. My parents had extremely high expectations of who and what I would become, but I was never able to live up to those expectations.
As for, groupthink, I was always the one that stood out as different. I struggle a bit with that in teaching. I just think differently than most people. A lot of how I think comes my experiences as a child. I feel like one of the few first grade teachers that doesn't talk to the students as if they are on Romper Room (ancient preschool TV show). I talk to them as if they are capable human beings. I find myself constantly trying to get them to think for themselves. I know that I have followed the crowd, or at least wanted to. But, I also know that because of who I am the crowd generally stays away.
The area I score lowest on in the evaluations does not really surprise me. Collaboration with other teachers. I am still at the phase where I do worry about what others will think. Student Teachers kind of have to. We don't have the luxury of having a good reputation to back us up. There are so many things I would like to try and express, but I do have to be careful at this stage. I usually feel like that odd puzzle piece. I just don't fit in. So, collaborating with other teachers is uncomfortable for me. I spent most of my life following a specific program set out for me, that I have had to work hard at finding my element. It took me over 33 years to realize that I could think for myself. I've been opening my mind up the last 9 years. Opening it up to see what I really think and feel. Opening it up to see what I am truly capable of. So, yeah, I do worry about what others think. But that is primarily because of the reactions I see. I would be the one choosing answer "a" when everyone else chooses "b".